“Pushing Through” Is Not a Long-Term Strategy

You know how when you were growing up, anytime things got hard, stressful, overwhelming, or painful, somebody would say: “you just gotta push through.”

For me, that became the blueprint for how I would live my life for several decades.

Keep going.

Don’t slow down.

Don’t complain.

Don’t rest too long.

Handle it.

Figure it out.

Push through.

So I did...and whew…that turned into a really exhausting hamster wheel of over-productive doom that I spiraled in.

I didn’t know how to slow down. What even is that??? Nobody teaches you how to process stress in a healthy way. I just learn how to keep functioning while exhausted. You know, the good ole “keep your chin up” and keep it moving mentality.

It’s CRAZY for me to think about it now but a lot of people praise me for it and I just kept showing up. People will celebrate how much you can carry while completely missing how heavy it has become for you to carry it. Eventually “pushing through” stops being the thing that you celebrate and it becomes the thing that numbs you.

That’s the dangerous part. I had to learn that the hard way.

I was running almost entirely on stress, pressure, survival mode, and responsibility. I kept showing up for everybody. Kept handling things. Kept smiling. Kept saying I was fine. Slowing down felt uncomfortable to me, probably because it was very unfamiliar.

Meanwhile my body was throwing up all types of flags. HUGE RED FLAGS (that of course I ignored, because…”I got it, I’m fine. I just need to push through”)

When you live in survival mode, dysfunction starts to feel normal.

Being tired all the time feels normal.

Being overstimulated feels normal.

Being emotionally drained feels normal.

Living in constant stress feels normal.

Is any of that really normal? Absolutely not! BUT it is easier to adapt to dysfunction than it is to acknowledge the struggle with it. Surviving something and actually living are not the same thing. That is a hard pill to swallow.

You can be productive and still be extremely exhausted.

You can be accomplishing things while mentally falling apart behind the scenes.

You can look “fine” to everybody else and be screaming for help.

At some point, recovery has to become part of the plan too. I think a lot of us are trying to heal while still clinging to the same habits that are burning us out. When you’ve spent most of your life being “the strong one,” slowing down can feel unsafe. Trust me, I understand that struggle on a real deep level. I no longer glorify constantly pushing through. Yes, there are seasons in life where you have to dig deep and keep moving but your body was never designed to live like everything is an emergency all the time.

If your entire life is built around the go, go, go, eventually your body will collect that bill.

Sometimes the bill shows up as burnout.

Sometimes anxiety.

Sometimes chronic illness.

Sometimes emotional numbness.

Sometimes complete disconnection from yourself.

Regardless of how it shows up, you deserve a life that does not require you to abandon yourself repeatedly just to maintain it. “Pushing through” might help you survive the moment…but recovery is what helps you keep yourself in the process. Maybe that’s the real lesson.