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The intersection of forgiveness and revenge

Why I Chose to Forgive

March 17, 20243 min read

It’s not an easy journey, to get to a place where you forgive people. But it’s such a powerful place because it frees you! - Tyler Perry

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve blogged. Some call it writers block (I could settle there but it would not be honest), others call it a breakdown…it was a bit of both but not enough of either. Confusing, I know!  I was on a much needed sabbatical, a personal timeout, a journey to discover what lies on the other side of anger.

What I realized is that it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle, so much so that it can cause heartache and chaos. We get angry. It becomes hard to forgive the things that we cannot yet ‘forget’.  We carry around these grudges and resentments from traumas and negative encounters and they become almost like burdens. They weigh us down and steal our joy. Or at least that was me….

What if I told you that forgiveness is the key to unlocking balance and reducing stress in your life?

Now before you stop reading, I didn’t always understand or even believe that statement to be true either! Until I understood how to apply the principles of forgiveness to my life and I finally sat down with myself and did an emotional inventory. Man oh man was my emotional closet an absolute HOT MESS.  I’m talking serious hot mess express!

Now picture this… you're carrying a heavy backpack full of rocks. Each rock represents a grudge, a resentment, a hurtful memory. As you walk through life, the weight of that backpack grows heavier, dragging you down and causing stress on your mind, body, and soul. Now, imagine unzipping that backpack and letting go of each rock, one by one. As you release each burden, you feel lighter, freer, and more balanced.

That's the power of applying the principles of forgiveness.

People think that forgiveness is just the act of letting go of the past but it is way more than that. Forgiveness is the most freeing feeling because you are intentionally choosing to release yourself from the grip of bitterness and resentment. Why are you still holding on? When you hold onto anger and resentment, you're not just hurting yourself, but you're also allowing those negative emotions to control your life. It's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

So how do we even begin to forgive? It starts with a shift in perspective. Instead of viewing forgiveness as a sign of weakness or letting someone off the hook, see it as an act of self-love and empowerment. You are choosing to prioritize your healing, peace and joy by forgiving others.

It is NOT always easy. It requires vulnerability, empathy, and sometimes, it takes time. It's okay to acknowledge your hurt and pain, but holding onto it indefinitely only prolongs your suffering. Give yourself permission to heal and let go.

Forgiveness also means setting boundaries and protecting yourself from further harm. It doesn't mean you have to reconcile with those who have hurt you or condone their actions. Sometimes, forgiveness is so personal that it doesn't involve the other person at all. You work through it in silence knowing that you are reclaiming your power and refusing to let past wounds define you in the present.

As you embrace forgiveness in your life, you'll notice a huge shift. The energy around you will be different. You'll feel lighter, more balanced, and less burdened by the past. And as you release the weight of resentment, you create space for love, compassion, and joy to flourish. I encourage you to forgive. Not for them but for YOU! Take those rocks out of your backpack boo. They are weighing you down and you don’t deserve to continue to feel heavy. There is so much freedom in releasing the past.

Happy Healing 🫶🏽

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Andi Byers

Andi Byers is the Founder and CEO of Chronic & Iconic Coaching, Iconically Holistic, Invisible Apparel Co and ICONIC Business Solutions. She is a registered nurse, holistic wellness practitioner, master trainer, process improvement and business strategic alignment expert, published author, Air Force veteran and Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award Honoree. I guess you can say I’m a woman of many trades! My purpose in this life is to make the journey JOYFUL despite the circumstances that life throws at us. I help women maintain joy using holistic methodologies to advance strategic growth in health, life and business without stress, overwhelm and burnout. I absolutely love what I do. I help women redefine what joy looks like, for them, unattached from the pressure of the expectations of others. My mission is to help women find their voice and use it to advocate for their wellbeing in all aspects of their lives. What I love the most about what I do is the relationships I get to build with these amazing women. I am grateful to be a vessel that provides tools to help them live the thriving lives they deserve. Certifications: Health & Wellness BSN MS Nutrition Master Trainer Holistic Nutrition Sports Nutrition Corrective Exercise Specialist Exercise Therapy Youth Fitness Transformation Specialist Business Solutions Six Sigma Black Belt Project Management CompTia A+, Net+, Security+ Microsoft Solutions DoD Records Management

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